Forgiveness

A well known quote that I feel is sometimes over used, but I believe holds substantial value as it speaks the truth, goes like this, “forgive, but never forget” which coincides with my beliefs and how I handle instances that require me to have to forgive someone. 

I feel that instances that require forgiveness of a person usually involve being left out, forgotten, trust being broken, and pretty much anything that involves you getting the short end of the stick so to speak may lead to you needing to forgive someone in some way shape or form.  I believe forgiveness is something you must commit mentally, and by this I mean you must take whatever problem or action that bothered or hurt you, and make a connection that you are no longer angry at the person for making you feel this way, and that you are okay with the person even if you are not okay with how everything went.  The little ball of anger you feel towards a person due to a specific instance where they let you down, or made you upset or angry, is what must be let go of, and that is what I believe forgiveness is.  Notice I did not say forget or let go of the specific instance as you must never completely forget, which of course is what the famous quote is referring to.  I have found it very hard to forgive certain people of certain things and some things I still have not been able to forgive them, but I believe in time I can and that is all that matters.  It is of course better to forgive right away, but we are all human and that is not always possibly.

Forgiveness should be practiced often and not on occasion as it is unhealthy to hold pent up anger towards someone.  If someone holds onto all their emotions and keeps everything bottled up, they will eventually break down and lose it.  So it is much better to forgive and move on than it is to hold everything on the inside.  I feel that it may seem that something is unforgivable but in reality everything can be forgiven it is up to the person to find it within themselves to do so.  It takes great discipline and to forgive everyone of everything they have done to you, and if a person can do that, they in my eyes are of utmost maturity.

College

I tend to like when there is a set blog topic, as it takes away the painful process and yes I said painful, of picking what to write about.  Usually when there is a topic already set in stone that I must write about, it is easy to sit down and get right to work.  But clearly this is not the case this week as it is a wild card, meaning I must first think of a blog topic and then write about it.  Well after a little bit of consideration and thought I felt like writing about college and what is to come would be a good place to start, due to the fact that choosing a college you are going to attend must be done by May 1^st which is surprisingly extremely close.  It is weird to think that I was once a small freshman, thinking how long four years would be, and that high school would like an eternity.  I was so wrong, high school flew by, I can barely register how fast everything went, and that a whole new chapter of my life is about to begin.  I am sure the feeling of four years and how I thought they would take forever to pass by in high school will be the same for college.  As I ready myself for something completely new, to finally be alone as far as parental guidance goes is a little bit scary.  What makes this whole thing even more frightening is that I do not really have the slightest idea of which school I wish to attend out of the schools I applied to.  They all have really big pros and really big cons and with little middle ground in between each it had made the decision extremely hard to make.  The schools I have to choose from right now are NJIT, Seaton Hall, and New Haven University, although OCC is an option it is not really on the table, considering my parents have had enough of me and do not wish for me to stay another two years.  I am leaning more towards NJIT and New Haven University, and I have already visited NJIT I have plans to visit New Haven on Wednesday.  Hopefully after visiting New Haven I will be able to finally come to a decision on which school I will be attending.  My parents want me to attend New Haven but the choice is ultimately up to me as it of course my future and I dictate where I want my life to go.  The upside of going to NJIT is that I know a few people that go there already and that it is also very close to home so if needed I could come back home on weekends.  New haven on the other hand is a little farther away, but the campus offers much more to do as far as entertainment and the college itself is much nicer.  After Wednesday hopefully I will have my choice of schools picked out and ready to start a new chapter of my life.

unfinished business

I can’t say I have too much unfinished business per say, I feel like I have lived out my high school career to the fullest, participating in multiple sports, obtaining my goals of becoming both the soccer and the track captain since junior year.  Excelling in both sports, and getting multiple school records that I never thought I would ever obtain.  Leaving high school with a great group of friends that I will never forget, and will still continue to be close to after this is all over with.  I feel as though I got as good as grades as I could have for most of my high school career, but I do have some regrets about how hard I tried, but that cannot be fixed in the final two months that are dwindling down to a close.  To answer the question would I change this year, I would have to say no.  I love how my senior year has panned out, if anything I would change it so it would go by slower, but we all know that cannot happen.  I would change previous years though like my sophomore year, because I regret things I should have done regarding sports and my junior year for not studying as much as I know I should have, even though my parents certainly reminded me enough. But besides that I think how everything has turned out.  My future plans consist of NJIT as that is where I seem to be leaning towards going to for the next four years.  I will be participating in division 1 track, and I look forward to that as well.  I hope to obtain a degree in civil engineering and I must keep a C average in all my class to keep all my scholarship money so I have so challenges ahead of me.  I feel like I am ready to start a new chapter of my life with new people but I am nervous that I will be overwhelmed by it all, scared of how difficult the work load will be and how I will find help if I need it.  It is all so new and uncharted territory for me but that is what makes it exciting.  I already visited the school and I like the vibe there.  I love how close it is to the city, as I am a huge fan of New York and the city environment as a whole so I feel like I will fit in quite nicely at NJIT.  I hope everything works out well, but as the next two months come to an end I will enjoy it while I can, cause I know I am going to miss how care free it is right now, and how it will never be like this again.